this fall I will have two preschoolers!
WooHoo! I secured spots for both of the toddlers today. So it’s a sure thing, phew!
I think they are going to love it and I have a few months to get them prepared.
School is winding down for the year for X, but already have summer camp registration completed.
Wow, when I type that, I feel like I’m totally on top of it– all LOL
More tomorrow, today was a LONG day!
I think it would have made a great video, but you’ll have to settle for my crappy telling of the tale.
I went in for my (usually) weekly WW weigh in.
I knew I was up (weight) A LOT—-
between
eating too much comfort food (yeah, I’ll cop to half a dozen blueberry muffins in a sitting)
not being able to workout
having unpleasant side effects from the medications
the weight of my breasts
—I warned the weigh in woman—
“It’s going to be epically bad”
and then immediately pointed to my
*beautiful* breasts 
and said, excitedly, “THEY’RE NEW!!!”
I <3 Her!!! She was so happy for me and didn’t give me any lip about
my truly epic
gain.
Back on the WW wagon, and back to boot camp as soon as I have my surgeons blessing!
…about getting “new” boobs. *If you’re looking for my parenting wisdom, just look back in the archives a wee bit- I’m still a loving mother of a zillion, just been preoccupied with my recovery lately and due to my lifting restrictions, unable to spend much unsupervised time with the kids.*
I did a lot of research, online and off before deciding to go under the knife. I didn’t take it lightly, I knew parts of it would suck, I thought it was still worth it, I thought I was as prepared as I could be.
I’m 5 days out, and it’s interesting how much you have to experience yourself.
Having another person tell you about their experience is not always a good indicator of what you may experience. I’ll divide it into categories, sharing my experience, which as noted- may vary (significantly) from your own.
the Operation
I didn’t die, so that’s a huge plus. It was a long procedure, 4-4 1/2 hours. Under general anesthesia. I woke up and immediately told them #1 I felt like throwing up. They said they’d get me something for that. #2, it really hurts. They gave me something for that too. I took an 1 1/2 hour nap and woke up feeling much better. So much better I was ready to hit the road, and wanted T to stop and buy me a burrito because I was starving. T told me the doctor had came out right about the time I started to take my long nap and told him “She’s going to love them!” This was reassuring to me- #1, he sounded very confident. #2, it wasn’t “you’ll love them” or “they look great” it was “She’s going to love them” which is what I was going for- after all,
I never forget- it is my body and I’m the only one I did this for.
Pain
The pain day 1 was about what I expected, didn’t feel good but was controllable- until the numbing wore off- then it was worse than I had expected.
day 2 was hard to control the pain, even with maximum doses of medication at the closest intervals. (Oxycodone and Valium)
day 3 the pain started to subside for sure, less medication and further spaced.
day 4, pretty much like day 3.
day 5, I’m still having lots of soreness and some tightness, but *really* wanted to be able to drive, so decided against taking hardcore pain meds.
I’m in that difficult place, having less pain than warrants oxy IMO but more than tylenol controls well. So, I took some tylenol and said “bleh, I’ve been through worse.”
Depression
Yep, you love your new boobs, you don’t love all the things you want to do, but can’t. Including- working out, driving (on meds),sleeping in a position you are comfortable in (previously a tummy or side sleeper), taking a shower (for a couple days), or taking a nice relaxing bath, wearing regular clothes/bras. And, yeah, all that fluid and stuff from surgery, combined with my comfort eating- means WW will be no joy. Just remember- Tears may ensue, don’t be shocked- this is actually quite common. Both, some women regret their procedures, and then there are women like me who love their results, but hate the recovery and feel down about it. Most demoralizing to me- the realization that my next procedure will be 10X worse in terms of recovery and limitations.
Cosmetics
Early post op is not a good time to decide you “hate” your new boobs. The placement, shape, brusing, ect will all be different in the long run. My cosmetic results have actually been exceptional for so early post op. Very little bruising and very symetrical- they still need to “drop” but otherwise I’m pretty impressed. I’ll be excited once the strips are all removed to see the “final” result.
Activities of Daily Living
As mentioned above, the limitations on bathing, sleeping, driving ect. can be rough. I’ve always been independent and kind of type A. So, not being able to do tons of stuff I usually do and depending on others to help me and take care of my kids is really hard. Most people will be back to “normal-ish” in about a week (0r less). I had lunch with T and went to a store today (by myself!!!) but it will be some time before I can lift (any of) the kids again.
Fashion
Wear button up PJ’s (top/bottom) to surgery/home- the nurses commented on how more people should really do that! I was comfortable and it’s a darn surgery center, no one looked at me funny for wearing pajamas!
Buy button up shirts for post op, you’ll thank me. Only one or two of many things I read online had mentioned this. I think it’s important since lifting your arms above your head is discouraged. I had good luck finding inexpensive, comfortable button up shirts at JCP.
The best bras I found, once I got the blessing to ditch the hideous post-op one, were at Walmart. They are Fruit of the Loom, have hooks all up the front and a thick soft bottom band with a full back for real support.
The claim “so comfortable” you’ll forget you’re wearing it, has actually proven true- which rocks, since I have to wear one 24/7 for awhile.
Worth it factor
I’m still in the thick of recovery, but probably (hopefully) past the worst. I think it was worth it, and I’d do it again. I’m feeling “at home” in my body again. It’s what gives me the push forward to proceed with the more difficult but more rewarding second surgery.
I had my first post-op appointment yesterday.
The “big reveal” went well. Everything looks better than I expected, and I think the doctor and nurse were pleasantly surprised too. Most importantly I got the blessing to shower!
My shower was awesome, a bit awkward and I used baby wash to be extra gentle, but it still felt amazing!
I switched out my hardcore post surgical bra for a front close full coverage sports variety which is much more comfortable. Tom took me to JCP to buy a few front close shirts, and I wore REAL clothes and walked the 3 blocks to pick X up from the bus stop. I’m definitely on the up and up. I’ve been taking very little in the way of medication, mostly only at night so I can get really comfortable and sleep.
I still don’t feel up to driving just because of the motions required, so will be taking a short trip with R this afternoon to buy some groceries and a couple more bras.
I have some bruising today that wasn’t visible yesterday, but still much better than what I had envisioned. I’m keeping a running log of photos so I can keep track of the progression. Only “major” side effect I’m aware of right now is that *one* yea, weird is that *one* of my nipples has like zero sensation. It could return, its not uncommon for it to temporarily disappear, or it could be permanent. Obviously hoping it’s temporary, but hey, at least I still have one good one LOL.
My next post-op appointment is next week and they’ll remove the steristrips if there are still any left. Hopefully by then the implants will “drop” into place, as they’re still riding a bit high right now.
Not much to update on the child front as I’m not able to be very involved with them right now. I’m missing them, and they are missing me. I’ve been making sure to kiss them before bed, but can’t risk the inevitable full on “tackles” from the toddlers right now. I’m easing back into life. This is the hardest part of surgery for sure.
I hurt a lot less today. I’ve been moving around a bit more, have more flexibility in my arms, but still spending most of my time resting in my room. I can kind of get a peak at what to expect once I take off this crazy post-surgical bra, and think I’ll be pleased with the results.
Yesterday was pretty intense, I’d say probably the peak of pain. Tolerable but not eliminated with even heavy painkillers. Yesterday was the day that made me go “Wow, I can’t believe I did this.” Changes in position felt horrible and as a result I laid in bed most of the day.
Tomorrow is my initial post op appointment and assuming all is healing as it should be- I get the blessing to shower!!! I’m very excited for that. Not so excited to see the freakish scars I know to expect, but in time, those too should heal.
And to think, this is the “easy” surgery. I always thought I was tough, but yikes! Recovering from this stuff is hard!
I have to be at the surgery center at 6, which will require leaving the house not much after 5.
I’m excited and nervous, I think sleeping tonight will be difficult, but I can make up for it tomorrow
Should be home early afternoon, but will be right to bed and probably not up to doing much for a couple days.
Today is my last day with these boobs LOL, I hope I don’t miss them.
What can I say, I’m an infertile who appears to the outside world, to be *stunningly* fertile.
The “secret” they don’t see are the hormonal imbalances, eggs a quality more like a woman 20 years older, and my husband’s missing prostate thanks to surgery that saved his life but stole our ability to conceive the “normal” way.
You know, normal, as in procreative sex. While maybe not as much fun as the “recreational” variety, I’d take it any day over the treatments we required costing thousands upon thousands of dollars, jab after stinging needle jab, and having to defend the “controversial” family building choices.
But, I try to be as transparent as possible about this chapter of my life.
I hope it can help someone else. Someone out are struggling, struggling like I was. Struggling to look at a woman with a baby and not feel jealous, feeling a bit of pain, wishing it was you.
Once you enter the sisterhood of infertility, it’s always part of who you are- even when you are “on the other side” as I am now.
I know my journey ended the way everyone hopes theirs does- with a beautiful family.
For others, their family may not be built not through Reproductive technologies like IVF but through surrogacy, foster care, or adoption. These too are valid options for family building. Sadly there are others who run out of options, and who must live child-free even though they desire nothing more than to parent.
So please, wherever you should encounter someone in their journey, validate their path and withhold judgement and insensitive comments (I’ll give a brief overview of those I’ve encountered).
“At least you already have one (two, three…) child(ren)”
*Please remember, secondary infertility is still painful and the desire for a second, third, tenth child is just as valid as the desire for one. Among the infertility community, those experiencing secondary infertility already feel awkward, and sometimes guilty when comparing their struggles with those who so badly want a first child.
“Maybe you weren’t meant to be parents”
*And maybe you were just born an A**hole, but seriously- not helpful!
“You should just adopt”
*As mentioned above, I view adoption as a very valid family building option. Couples have many reasons they don’t chose this path, adoption is a very complex path- financially and emotionally- just like infertility. If, and when they decide to go down that path, you can support them in that journey as well.
“I’d never do treatments”
*Good for you, here’s your cookie. Let me guess, you’re not infertile, and have never been faced with the prospect. Even if you are- what YOU choose to do, doesn’t affect the validity of what *I* choose to do. There are many reasons people choose to do/not do/discontinue treatments, much like adoption, chances are you don’t understand the full picture.
“Why do treatments when there are so many children out there who need homes”
*The two have nothing to do with each other…really. Being infertile doesn’t somehow make me responsible to adopt the worlds orphans any more than you are. Do YOU feel the need as a normally fertile person to adopt rather than procreate? If so, great, go for it. Even so, it’s not an appropriate comment, few undergo treatments lightly.
“Just relax and it’ll happen”
*For infertile couples, this is just not true. Sure, there are couples that go on vacation and end up conceiving but dispensing this as advice is more likely to create additional anxiety, and in a woman like me, for whom it’s NEVER going to happen without treatment, no matter how relaxed I am, it straight up pissed me off.
“Are you trying to be octomom”
*No, are you trying to be an insensitive a**hole?
Sadly, all of these, are comments I’ve encountered. None of them are appropriate, and I’ve never met another couple who has dealt with infertility that thinks ANY of these comments are helpful.
The March for Babies is Saturday, I made these awesome shirts for the kids,
which answers the question “What will they be wearing” the easy way.
Shirts, Check!
X will be staying home, I didn’t see him wanting to walk 3 miles and he’s a bit old to toss in a stroller
T has done the bulk of the fundraising, we surpassed our modest team goal, though my personal one stands unfilled.
If you are so inclined, you can donate with the link in my sidebar, securely online.
What else is new? Well, lots.
Cubscouts is almost over for the year, with only 2 meetings and a “cut scout olympics” event left before breaking for the summer.X told me there are only 29 days of school left, I didn’t check his math, I figure he has a better idea than I do 
Oskar has continued taking a few steps, and is gaining confidence. He also loves the praise, huge amounts of praise I give him when he does. He is also growing noticeably, again, I think he’s going to be a “big” boy. I think all the moving is making him hungry
Olive is wild as ever, with many growls, screams, and fast running through the day! I’m trying to convince her that smacking the dog in the face isn’t a nice thing to do. She just laughs and does it…again. I’m hoping this rather annoying “aggressive” phase is over soon!
Ethan has entered the wonderful word “why” into his vocabulary. No number of explanations will prevent the subsequent, “why” I guess I’m happy he’s so curious about everything. This is a much more pleasant phase than his “No, never” one, that got old fast!
Eli is not quite as inquisitive as Ethan in his communications, but is absorbing every moment like a sponge.
We added a sandbox to the backyard and it has been a big hint with all 5 of the children. I have a love hate relationship with the sandy turtle. On the one hand, it’s never bad to have kids that want to spend time outside, and they find the sandbox very entertaining. Minimal fights break out over the shovels and other toys, but convincing them to not throw sand in the (already struggling) grass or rub it in their hair- good luck! So, sand time invariably leads to bath time.
Bathing in bulk is my new specialty. I remember when I thought I was something- something for being able to bathe two children at once. Ha! I have now achieved ultimate efficiency- all 5 at the same time. I can fit all 4 of the youngest in the garden tub in the master, and then X gets the other tub all to himself. Doing this quickly and safely is best done with 2 adults, one to supervise tub time, and the other to dry, clothe, and relocate the clean children.
I am now in my second session of fitness “bootcamp” and can say it was a great decision. I have more energy and have toned up for sure. I feel like I’ve done everything I can to be ready for my surgery by having my body in good shape and having a fitness routine to fall back into afterward. My pre-op appointment was yesterday and left me feeling more confident in my decision and ready to just do it! A week from Friday, I go in, early in the morning and will come out later in the day, feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck, kidding, kidding…okay, no really, I’ll probably feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. And this is the “easy” surgery, “only” about 4 hours. I’m a bit nervous, but I can honestly say this surgery doesn’t “scare” me, the other one does.
That’s all for now, as you can imagine, there is plenty more to do!
and a realization.
I would love them no matter what.
I am VERY happy to announce Oskar has taken his first steps! He has had a number of delays and it is very hard as a mother to watch, knowing all you can do is go through the motions, and wait… and hope, that in their own time, they will do what everyone else’s child is doing.
First I was so excited when he could sit, then started losing the head lag, crawling, cruising furniture, the last big one on the physical front was walking, and he’s well on his way.
In fact, he’s squeaked in within late “normal” range.
Even so, there were days I worried, wondered, “what if” he doesn’t walk, “what if” there is something “really” wrong?
It has been a huge relief that in his own time, he’s done it. It also gave me a moment to reflect, on how, as a mother- I’m constantly doing things, living through things, managing things, that I would have never imagined I could, or would, until I did.
These days we’re focusing lots of energy on communication skills, because he has a speech delay as well. On that front I do feel like he’s improving as well, and because of the very early intervention I’m hoping his progress will be faster than that of his brothers. They are nearing 3, have made vast improvements and thus are nearing their exit from Early intervention services.
First I’ll update what’s happening on the surgery front, Family news is at bottom with a new (cute) picture!
A month ago I started my search for the “perfect” plastic surgeon. I don’t take going under the knife lightly and certainly want a highly trained professional I can trust wielding that knife! Seven consults later, I have chosen my surgeon.
A number of things went into my decision:
Office Location and Comfort.
My comfort with the Doctor.
My comfort with the support staff.
What they said they could/couldn’t do.
My confidence in their ability to do what they say.
My ability to communicate with them, and be heard.
Cost (within reason) was not something I even considered.
10 years down the road I want to be happy with my results and saving a few hundred or even a few thousand dollars now
at the expense of results didn’t feel wise.
So, the quick version:
I am having two separate surgeries done.
The procedure required to fix my abdominal muscles properly is lengthy.
Adding a second procedure to that (my breast lift) was not something he was comfortable with.
While my abdominals are my main concern, because of timing factors with recovery- I’m having the lift done first.
My surgery date for the lift is May 3rd.
3 months later on August 2nd I go in for my tummy tuck.
In short, it’ll be a summer to remember :/
In the meantime, I’m making a concerted effort to get into better shape. It will both make my results better and will speed recovery.
I started a bootcamp style fitness class Monday. An hour each morning M-F of constant activity. I survived my first week and can already tell a difference in how I feel (awesome!), I don’t need as much sleep, feel stronger and I can see some more muscle tone. The first few days were a bit rough, but I’m so glad I stuck with it- I’m looking forward to next week!!! The funny thing is, I only lost .4 lbs. at my WW weigh in- but I’m thinking some of that is muscle conversion (hopefully) and some of it was the large meal I ate the night before.
Family
We have been enjoying the beautiful Florida weather, lots of time in the yard. I will say it again- we wouldn’t be doing THAT in Iowa this time of year!!!
I gave in to my weakness for baby carriers and added another to my collection recently, an ergo in “galaxy” I’m loving it, and the fact that my awesome husband doesn’t think I’m completely crazy (just a bit). Here is a picture of Oskar chilling in the ergo while I supervised the toddlers in the yard yesterday. They of course wanted to try it out to, and I was thrilled with how well a toddler fits in it- I did back carries with them and could’ve comfortably done so for hours. This carrier will certainly get a work out tomorrow when we go to an event with the whole family.
Just because he’s 1, doesn’t mean he doesn’t still love to be carried!
Potty “training” is going a bit better. I wish it could be an overnight miracle, but it is a transition. I don’t remember now how I did it with my first, I just don’t think it was this hard. Maybe it’s a multiples thing, maybe it’s a preemie thing, maybe it’s just their personalities and the craziness of our lives.
We have a fun event tomorrow with the twin club that I’m really looking forward to. I’m sure Tom or I will be posting an update this weekend about it!
Last night was our board meeting and on my way there I saw a peacock, just wandering a neighborhood. I loved it! I had to take a picture! I’m amazed how well the picture turned out given that I was still buckled into my seat and used my cell phone to snap it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Just strutting around!
And with that, I hope you have a wonderful day!
